Last May 14th, the political analyst Inés Quiles, in her radio show “Si no lo digo, reviento” which is aired Monday to Friday from 10:00 to 12:00 in the morning by the Puerto Rican radio station Radio Isla 1320 (www.radioisla1320.com), Inés interviewed senator Carmelo Ríos, proponent of avant-garde joint custody law before the legislature of Puerto Rico. After the interview, the microphones were opened to the public and one listeners, a father who has the custody of his children, called to criticize the law and to oppose joint custody, on the grounds that a child can not healthily adapt to life between two houses. To answer this unfounded argument, that same day I wrote Inés the following e-mail:
I hope that you and your loved ones are well. I am Vidal Guzmán, a Puerto Rican architect resident in New Jersey, pro joint -custody activist, and knowing your commitment to our children and to joint custody, I have contacted you previously to comment on issues related to our cause.
Listening to your show today, I heard one of your listeners saying several dangerous mistakes about joint custody. I tried to call your program to correct the listener, but it was impossible to me to get in, and for that reason, I am sending you this message.
The listener, from the comfortable position of a father who has the custody of his children, said that all the studies on the subject affirmed that moving regularly a child from the house of a parent to the house of the other was harmful for the child. That, as we would in my “barrio” Mamey of Guaynabo, was invented from air. Those studies do not exist. We should not confuse the opinion of a professional with the scientific studies done by a professional. And every study has proven once and again that if there is something really harmful for a child is the absence of the father. In fact, every statistic study done to date point out that the most certain predictor of depression, criminal conduct and social inadequacy in the adult life of a child, is having being raised by a single mother. The following link connects to a brief bibliography on the subject:
The listener should read the book by Ann Coulter, Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America (Crown Forum, January 6, 2009), on which the second chapter is dedicated to demystify single motherhood and to show how this supposed victims are in fact victimizing society and causing irreparable harm to their children. That chapter is rich in bibliographical references.
For a child, dividing his/her week between two homes, far from being a trauma, is an adventure that brings them fun and consolation from the real trauma that is the divorce of their parents. The listener should read the article titled “How I divide my life between my divorced parents' homes”, http://www.newsweek.com/id/174698), written by Charlotte Juergens, a 14 years old girl raised under a joint custody arrangement. In that article, she narrates how her parents divorced when she was only two years old, and how from that age until today, she sleeps at each parent’s house every other day, spending equal time with each one.
The listener complained also that joint custody would force the child to get used to two very different styles. I should remind the listener that that is was is supposed to happen in any traditional family, where father were men and mothers were women and therefore, those of us who had the privilege of having being raised by both of our parents, we developed under the guidance of two human beings distinct but equally important for our formation. Because the only way of having being raised by two parents of similar styles is having being raised by two parents of the same sex, what I see as totally acceptable, and even then there would have been differences between them. The idea of having a father and a mother is precisely to have the opportunity of receiving education from two human beings that are radically distinct, and that distinction is one that allows the development of human being that are complete, educated and used to the glorious complexity of the human race.
Feel free to share this e-mail with your listeners, and to air my phone 862-596-0118 and my e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org, in case that someone wants to contact me to discuss more about this issue.
Always at your orders,
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PRO-JOINT CUSTODY ORGANIZATIONS
- Asociación Española Multidisciplinar de Investigación sobre Interferencias Parentales (ASEMIP)
- Canadian Equal Parenting Council
- Center for Parental Responsibility
- Children's Rights Council
- Grandparents Rights Organization
- Joint Custody Association of Norway
- Kids Need 2 Parents
- National Parents Organization
- Padres y Madres en Acción
- Parental Alienation Awareness Organization
- Plataforma por la Custodia Compartida
FATHER'S RIGHTS ORGANIZATIONS
- American Coalition for Fathers and Children
- Amor de Papá
- Asociación Catalana de Padres Separados
- Dads America
- Dads4Kids: Fatherhood Foundation
- Fathers 4 Justice
- Glenn Sacks
- Great Dad
- Illinois Fathers
- Louisiana Dads
- Padres de la Guarda
- The Fatherhood Educational Institute
- The National Fathers Resource Center